Long for The Beginning
It was a beautiful playground we play together at, with all smile and laughters. It was a very simple lovely story, the beginning of friendship without any complexity on the way.
Unfortunately, no perfect we are. All the nice memories is the past, wiped out by the love spelled out. Perhaps, this is not the time at all, for the enigma of love is too big to be handled. Amazed we are how its waves destroy the simple joy we had.
History has been made, things have been said and done. Everything is so mess up now. Only regret and apologies left, for ruining every single nice moment used to exist, the beginning of the story that should have last.
There is no turning back, as time never move backward. So, here we are, regain the strength, building up the broken pieces, longing for a new beginning.
The Arrogance To Be Hurt
To the eternity we aim, in perpetuity’s creed we try to play our role on the stage of this unwritten scenario. Nothing to posses, just give them all because no possessions will even be eternal. So, why bother too much?
Stronger day by day we have been shaped by many scripts written for us. Proud of us to stand up tall over the worst day of life offers, More and more sincere we are to ignore the rule of balance: take and give many friend said. Stand over the soil, devoted life for others, giving and let it go is the only reason.
Strong enough we thought we are to let us break the doors, into this forbidden sacred story line, leaving behind the desire to own. We know, we are aware the sacrifice will be made, the sensation of the pain will hurt us. But if this is the way to make our days more complete, who need any worry and hesitancy?
So that’s how love has been said, an offering and gift to be released
Funny somehow, as minutes pass by, the voice keep calling the desire of having it by our side. Deeper and deeper we sink into. This time, it is too arrogant to be strong, too arrogant to give it all away. This time, in the name of love, how weak we are.
It hurts too bad!!
In Love We Are…
The best way, perhaps, leaving this as a blank canvas. Love is nothing to explain , but to experience.
Some say, we would gain most of it by giving, ‘coz that’s what love in essence is all about, sincerely without any expectation of reward, possession and belong, and let it grows by and for itself.
Still, it is very human to be driven to own the love. If that is the chosen action, then be ready to let it go (the whole or some part of it) at some point. Something to own, is something to be gone by the nature law of mortality .
Then, love not only offers the joy, but also pain that hurts. Not merely hurt when we lost it, but also hurt to keep or even to gain it. That’s just the way we will have a chance to experience love entirely, like pain that offers us better understanding and appreciation of life.
One of the greatest mysteries of life, in love we are…
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* With the greatest respect to Silvana Yaneva, who kindly shares the beauty inspiring moment of love.
An ‘Old Traditional’ We Miss
We are grateful with the presence of digital technology amid us. It helps.
If not even free (legally), the creative sources also tends to be cheaper digitally, possibly because of less physical material cost needed to produce and distribute them. The innovation also manages to emulate the old traditional medium and tools : brushes, paper, water color, photography film, and many more. For us, that means saving money for arts materials.
In our small room where we live in, we buy and store books, documents, music, photographs, videos and many resources in digital. It has been quite a while, we by some means have switched our creative journal and sketchbook in this format. It saves space of our tiny creative shelter, and perhaps with some argues: bit more mobile.
At least, facing these two issues : money and space, (Well, we’ve never been loaded), we have been saved by digital reality. And, we kind of turned into digital.
……
Then, perhaps today is just one of the peak of the crawling longing.
As we are immersing our creative muse, we miss the old traditional way. While many are ‘tidily’ piled in the digital storage, we miss the scatter of our idea exploration works in the room, the messy random pictures stick on our sketchbook, meaningless doodle on the paper as we encounter things in daily life. We miss their tangible presence by our side without any need to turn on any digital gadgets. Any way, we sometimes hate the feel of disconnection with the real world that somehow we feel often be thrown away by digital screen as we are drawn into.
We guess, we made a mistake by ditching our old sketchbook, replacing it with digital journal. We simply want it back, and here it is…. after a little bit of handwork, the rebirth of our journal/sketch book!
No one’s Land
Another goodbye to friends.
Literally, this place never be our motherland, though. It is just another camping ground of the odyssey. Things come and go, so does the physical presence of friends by our side.
Thanks for the companion, and all the good wishes to Aldy and ‘Tuyul’!